Feel slightly moody & comtemplative today..sigh..
writing a blog reminds me something abt lit concerning paul chow's paper on biography & autobiography. Knowing my friends would read this blog, how many of the stuff here are truly real? Can't really express wat i truly feel, can't scold vulgarities so much *trying to cut down now*. See? Even now i must keep an image of a nice person. haha.
Then again, i really miss schooling. I had friends whose company i mostly enjoyed. Maybe that's why i'm feeling in the slumps now. I mean army is really not a place to widen your social circle. It's the same routine day in and out. Feels like part of my soul is missing? empty?
Of all the friends i had since primary school - JC, it seems to me i'm losing more of them day by day. Primary school - only still in touch with boyan. Seconday school - the best time which i made many friends, many whom i'm still in contact with. JC? I know i'm slowly losing touch with my friends there.
Is it the loneliness that's bugging me? Then again i've always been a loner at times, so why is it bothering me now? The gang & i've always joked abt being bachelors etc etc and getting out of the 'club'. Maybe it's time i got out of my little playing acting personality and grow up more. I tire of it. I mean i'm going to be like 20 this yr man! Can't act the little kid anymore.
Back to camp tomorrow. Damm.
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