EMO POST: so don't read it if u dun like zy-ness emoness. u know what i mean.




ok now feeling less emo so can blog with better clarity.

haiz...wasted lah. i mean it's like waited for 4 months and wtf...she got her bf (non veggie, ah the hurt i feel) just because he was on the same trip with same course. some pple will say it's fate, for me i say it's like wtf concidence. suayness to the max lvl 25 on my part. Communication does wonders for bonding u know. pple in the same sch, courses will bond much better than some half fucked person who only sees the other person on msn or on outings which happen like less than 1x per month.

so much for all the planning and hope i carried with me lol. and here i was thinking what could happen to her in a mere 4 months? Whoever said patience is a virtue is going to get killed by me.

ah the frustration i feel sits like a canker on my soul. life can be quite a bitch sometimes. i mean happening once to me is bad enuff. but 2x(1st one was MC) in a row??? sometimes i really wonder if someone/s up there hates me...or is mocking me. u fucking BC members better appreciate ur GFs (applies to those with gfs only) i tell u...u dun want to see me angry right?

at least i mildly vented part of my frustrations/anger on dota that night. 3 games with ard 30 kills. kinda pathetic i know. but i dun have a punching bag at home and i dun want to get grilled by my parents on why i punch a hole in my cardboard.

at least my disappointment waiting time is dropping

MC - waited for like 4 yrs
MS - abt 3 yrs b4 my gut feeling went to work again (doesn't take much to know when someone ignores u for like 5yrs and still counting.)
MH/MT = less than 1 yr.

maybe when it reaches 0 waiting time, i will finally get a gf. LMAO! like those New Year count down timers.

i kinda knew after the outing we had when she came back. i remember blogging i felt something was lacking. (that's my meaning of something feels quite wrong). it's the body language. do u know English students are pretty good at reading body language? (the eyes, twitches, fidgeting etc etc) I've a whole chapter on it in my book last yr.

Gut instinct..ah why must u always be right in such sad matters but never in the good ones?

Maybe it's because i place too much hope in events and refuse to see the whole picture. Love does make 1 blind after all. i mean look at XL...how can she choose ivan? lol . love makes her blind!! couldn't she see ivan feeding me chocalate on yh's blog? 破坏家庭的人. ivan and i were so "happy" lol. (1st chinese words in me blog leh. i love the office chinese software on my comp)

b4 i knew abt this (Friday) , it was the same day my cousin flew off to Norway (Thursday), my left arm was twitching and went numb at certain times throughout the whole fucking day. I was like praying that nothing happened to my cousin (thankfully he's safely in Norway and perfectly ok). battered/broken heart is better than receiving bad news abt my relatives and i do mean that. i mean gf u can get a new one as long as the current one doesn't die lah. but cousins? irreplaceable. blood is afer all thicker than water.

so i'm /was totally emo for like the last 5 days lah. thx god for distractions (good ones) like my primary sch gathering, the steamboat and new mmorpg and new story book (which i read finish in half a day). these great events/books really took my mind off it's brooding. even though i will still brood for the next few days and nights. Btw i will blogmore abt the steamboat and primary sch outing sooner or later (u guys shld know me that it's 99% chance of being the latter choice)

Guess i'm still the overlord of the BC for sometime to come. On ur knees slaves! bow b4 the OVERLORD!

Man proposes , God disposes. and my collection of failures in the M series continues. (just like a saga of failure). another 3-4 days of moping ard and i shld recover pretty well. eventhough i still feel irritable/sad when i think abt it, see a veggie stall etc. HAIZ.

so much for pondering on who to spend 28th Aug with. YH or MH? YH!!! I"M HERE FOR U!!!!!! give me a hug! me love yh! he always posts such scandelous photos of me and ivan to make xl jealous lol. and speaking of scandelous photos..

http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=820789&id=711068147 (the person involved said not to say a thing abt this. i kept my word.) it's only a link after all. lol.

*evil + slightly sad/jaded/pessimistic laughter* (evil is the normal one, other 3 is due to the current ongoing emo-ness i feel)